Tag Archives: Mental Health

I’m sorry am bad, I’m sorry am good. Am sorry.

How great it must be for Reena to be living her dream, studying in ‘the top college’ and doing what she so desperately wanted to. She told me, that life wasn’t that great, she wasn’t really happy and she didn’t have so many of the things that her friends did. For example; she felt bad that they had chauffeur driven cars when she had to use the college bus. That her friends went to the coolest places in town, had rich bfs, shopped as much as they wanted; while she wasn’t always allowed to go and hates her parents every now and then. Err.. whatever happened to being grateful for being admitted to the college, scoring well, having a decent life and simply enjoying it?

Apparently that’s not uncommon, people are so sorry about themselves that they are blinded to what is right in front of them and at times covet what is really not a big deal and maybe unimportant, at the cost of their peace of mind.

really.

Kajal always felt that she was too thin for a girl her age and wasn’t really attractive at all. She wanted to be like her cousin Tamanna who [according to her] had the perfect ‘figure’. She felt sorry for herself to an extent that she started to feel disgusted by her body. One day, Tamanna just happened to mention that she felt she was fat and dark or maybe not. Kajal stared transfixed. The girl she looked upto was sorry for being the way she was?! How sad was that, and here she was sorry about herself… when there wasn’t anything wrong with her!

‘Someone always has it better than you.’ Really? What rubbish is that when the ‘someone’ is not even on the same level as you! None of us is the same. We are merely similar. So, how can there be be any justifiable comparison? Why even compare, when we know everyone is different. From the cellular molecules, thoughts, body, family, upbringing, attitudes etc etc. Heck, there are so many different people in our own immediate circle of people.

Fine, you want to compare? Do it. Be grateful when you see the differences. But stop feeling sorry for yourself. The only reason you are sorry for the state you are in or the person you are now, is because you aren’t accepting yourself. Something is not necessarily wrong with you. [ Exceptions being: mental/physical/psychological illnesses]. This habit of self-pity needs to stop and go right now.

Complaining about it, ranting about it, repeating how sorry/bad/sad you feel to different people in different ways, will not really help, unless you are willing to actually take their advice. Unless you are willing to stop being sorry about yourself. Nothing is wrong with you. What maybe wrong, is the attitude, the negative self-talk; the depressive habit that makes you feel sorry for yourself. And the fact that you’re doing nothing to change it!

How bad can it be really? Did you lose someone, a limb, an organ, some highly valuable possession, your self-respect, your heart? If it’s nothing along those lines, then for heaven’s sake, snap out of that drudgery.

Life’s not all that bad and negative. You still have so much potential and so much good in you and happening to you. The fact that you are using the internet is something to be grateful about. [You say no, then I hope you realise it when your internet stops working! 😐 ]

Someone else has a better life, better job, better friends [yeah I was weirded out when I heard it too], better materialistic possessions, whatever. IT DOES NOT MATTER. Their existence is not going to determine how you live, so don’t put yourself out there for misery to suck your happiness.

If you don’t like what’s happening to you or what you are making out of your life or how you feel about yourself, make changes. Start accepting life for what it is. Understand who you are and love yourself for the good things and start changing what you can. If you can’t change things on a physical level, then change your attitude towards accepting it.

I met a friend the other day, she had such a positive glow about her. She was doing what she loved and was extremely positive about everyone around her. This, despite the fact that people think she’s losing out on a great career. She just laughs it off and does what she loves. She’s not sorry. She has merely accepted herself and has made decisions to live life the way she wants.

What’s holding you back?

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It’s just a habit.

64e80842320f1228ce0a4ae538d5cfa8 Habits.
How do you realize that something’s become a habit, before it becomes difficult to get out of?
Psychologically, a habit is considered to be a mental pattern. A system that the brain/mind is accustomed to follow subconsciously, through consistent repetitions . So, obviously, it’s not easy to break.

Especially, if you are as lazy as I am. Some habits are so comfortable that one simply doesn’t want to break them. It’s so easy to simply be pulled into another routine, even if’s not a good thing. It’s a habit, something we’re so accustomed to it. Why change now? And doing something else requires hard-work and hard-work requires energy. Which I lack for this particular act. Riiiight.

Waking up late is not necessarily a choice for everyone. For some it’s become a habit to never witness sunrise or see the rest of the family members leave home for work. It’s become a habit to sleep late, even if there is nothing worthwhile to do, the creative mind comes up with innumerable ways to procrastinate and stay awake.

images (5)Same goes for change, one is so used to whatever routine is present, whether one likes it or not. But change? A big NO! It’s the case of ‘I’d rather stay under the rock because it’s cosy here than venture into the world and look at the fields and lakes beyond’. Sigh.

And being lazy is the worst.. it’s such a self-destructive habit. A lazy person doesn’t even realize that he’s lazy. Such is the level of comfort. Hard-work is like oil on water to a lazy person. Simply doesn’t gel.

These very habits when out of control, can turn into addictions and obsessions. Almost everyone I know has been an internet addict at some point or the other. As long as it’s just a phase, no biggie. But when it begins to slip out of control, things get ugly. There are mood swings, frustrations,  depression and immense fatigue.

Is it really worth it? What habits do we have? How good are they for us and how do they affect the people around us? We get irked sometimes when someone has a bad habit that we don’t approve of. What about our own habits? How many of them are good or productive or at least do nothing negative to anyone?

Are you happy with all the habits that you have? What about the ones that you think can be altered a bit or changed completely? When a habit becomes ingrained and we are totally comfortable, then we automatically fight against change. Most times, it’s an involuntary reaction. Like when you are habituated to defending yourself constantly; everything someone else says keeps you on guard too. That’s not healthy.

So now what? Where to start? How to change? Is change really required, when it’s so comfortable right now? And what if… blah blah blah ? All the scary, idiotic, nonsensical, logical what ifs will always be present. The important thing is to prioritize and to understand what the habits are doing and will end up doing.

Sometimes it’s easy to get rid of a habit, but most times it requires hard work. There’s no hard and fast rule as to how you can develop a new habit or get rid of an old one. But I remember being told often that if you want to cultivate something as a habit, keep doing it for 21 days or at least 15 days straight. And don’t stop after the second or third day. That’s very important. It actually works.

images (6)
The simplest way: just start. Right now.
I sure need to.

P.S.  Frankly, my inspiration was denying me my creative rights, but I decided to set a habit for this blog. Makes me happy. :/